Author: John
Spring Critters
Along with spring comes spring critters. What I wanna know is, with springtime outside, how come they wanna come inside? The other morning there was a bit of commotion downstairs, Becky went to investigate. I was asleep at the time, or I would’ve investigated, of course. I think I woke up as she was coming back upstairs to report a bird in the fireplace. Now, this used to be a routine occurrence in the old days, one that Stephen and I fixed by wrapping wire screening around the top of the chimney (yeah, up on the roof) so the critters couldn’t get in. Apparently, they’ve recently succeeded in building a nest and, in the process, wedging an opening through which determined aviaries are capable of gaining entry to their tomb below. Yes, aviaries, plural. On investigating the fluttering creature, I observed a couple others definitely not fluttering. Well, to make half a long story shorter, I captured the live bird and set him/her free outdoors; and scooped up the two dead ones which were given ignominious burials in the trash can, wrapped together in a plastic trash bag.
And then the invasion of the ants. Couple days later they’re swarming all over the kitchen counter and, I think, there ain’t much Becky hates worse than ants in her kitchen, except maybe mice in her walls. So, laid a bunch of ant killer around the outside of the house, and Becky’s been fighting a fierce battle inside that’s finally yielding results. :shootem:
So, how come the ant war is Becky’s responsibility, you ask? Hey, I take on the pterodactyls in the fireplace! :bond:
Cone Beef In Cribbage
Sat in dis ‘ere e-z-chair all day wid da laptop in da lap doin’ varies www thangs whilst watchin’ baskitbull, cajunly takin’ a brake fer yurnary reeleaf an’ din ‘roun’ seben thutty dis eebnin Becky sez “It’s reddy!” so’s ah ups ‘n’ heds fer da kitchin and seez dis crackpot o’ stuff on da stobe ‘n’ takes da lid off ‘n’ Lordy! It’s cone beef in cribbage!!! Ah duzn’t know an’ hazn’t got no idee how da hole day goes by-n-by ‘n’ ah don’t smells it, but dats zackly what happen an’ it ain’t no lye! But, sho wuz good, an’ datz sayn a mouf full! Dat cone beef in cribbage. Mmm-mm!
Um, is dat be plitikly inkrekt? :nono: Twarn’t tensional, but ef’n so den, so solly! :conicalhat:
…and then termites
April 1, 2007
General, Rants
4 Comments
John
Having finally beat back the invading ants, we were looking forward to a peaceful Sunday. Got up, had a relaxed breakfast, some coffee, read the paper, watch the talking heads on “This Week” with George Ste… whatever. I hadn’t noticed Becky had got out of her chair, as I was dozing, until I heard the screeching from the bathroom. So I rushed to the door and the floor’s covered with things about the size of ants but long straight-back wings, Becky standing in the middle of them, stomping like mad, and screeching. I joined the “dance” but realized I needed a bathroom myself, and went back to the “master” bathroom and there they were all over the floor, walls, shower. So I commenced to dancing some more, partly to stomp bugs and partly ’cause I needed to pee. I wasn’t making much headway just stomping; didn’t help with the critters on the walls. So I ran out to my desk and grabbed my latest Playboy, noticing as I ran through the kitchen they’re all over the floor in there, too.
Well, at this point, the screeching has mostly stopped and I have various scenarios playing through my head, none of which involved spending the day inside the house. Nevertheless, I proceeded to make good, though unusual, use of Playboy. We finally got enough of them squashed that Becky felt like trying a dash through the shower, so I joined her and we got cleaned up and dressed.
Becky’s figuring to bug-bomb the place, and I’m wondering how the hell I’m going to get a brief done that I was planning to spend the day working on. By this point, though, most of the bugs are dead ones and I’m thinking it looks like time for a vacuum cleaner. Instead, I hit the computer and did some searching on pests hoping to find a picture that would show me these were not termites. I quickly found a good authority and my hopes were promptly dashed, for the most part. The good news was there ain’t much use trying to bug-bomb the damn things. For the short term, the only thing worthwhile, according to this authority, was (and here I thought myself a genius of some sort) vacuuming.
While I did some additional searching for pest control candidates to call tomorrow, Becky cleaned up with the vacuum. At that point, it’s almost mid-afternoon and a decision is made to go out for burgers. If the place was swarming again on return, it would be bug-bombed. If not, we just hold the fort and call reinforcements tomorrow.
When we got back, there were a few stragglers, but not enough to let loose the bombs. So, I got to do a little work on the brief, and Becky did some other cleaning stuff. Normal people, of course, were outside mowing their lawns, washing their cars, etc., as it was just a perfectly gorgious day, outside.
We’d rate today: :yuck: