I was having some fun asking Microsoft’s Bing AI for sentiments husbands and wives could say to each other. For example, “What should I say to my wife today?” Bing AI’s suggestion started thus: “You should say something that shows how much you appreciate and love her. You could tell her how beautiful she is.” On the other hand, “What should I say to my husband today?” started thus: “Hi honey, I hope you had a great day at work.” Wow.
So then I tried birthday card sentiments. They were basically what you’d get from Hallmark, so I spiced it up a bit. I asked it to “Write a sexy 30th birthday card sentiment for my wife.” It responded:
“Happy 30th birthday to my gorgeous wife! You are the most amazing person I know, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. You are beautiful inside and out, and you make every day brighter with your smile. You are sexy, smart, funny, and kind, and I can’t get enough of you. You are my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime, and my soulmate. I can’t wait to celebrate with you tonight and show you how much I love you. You are the best gift I ever received, and I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are.”
Not what I’d call spicy, but since my wife is 70+, I asked it to “Write a sexy 70th birthday card sentiment for my wife.” It responded:
“I’m sorry, but I cannot write a sexy 70th birthday card sentiment for your wife.”
I’m laughing too hard to keep going.
The TV was on and although I wasn’t watching I heard somebody say January 21 is National Squirrel Day. What? Did I hear right? I looked up, but whatever the context was, it was gone. National Squirrel Day? Surely not. They’re rodents, basically rats with a bushy tail. Google-time! Lo and behold, it’s true; although, actually, it’s not just National Squirrel Day, it’s National Squirrel Appreciation Day. You can buy calendars and other squirrel memorabilia to show your appreciation. I suppose I’d admit the little critters impress me with their ability to run up and down tree trunks and jump from limb to limb and scurry along twigs that I can’t imagine would support their weight, slight as it may be. But I don’t much appreciate hearing them scurrying around on the roof of the house, leaving me wondering if they’ve found a way into the attic. And don’t get me started about how they scamper into the street and stop right in front of my car and then they start one way and suddenly reverse and stop again and then, well, it’s just amazing I haven’t killed a few. Yeah, okay, sometimes they’re kind of fun to watch, the way they’re at home in a tree the way otters are at home in a river; or the way cockroaches are at home under the kitchen sink. But, Squirrel Appreciation Day? Seriously?
Yeah, I know, I should write something about Christmas and New Year, but I ain’t got time right now. I really need to use my time more efficiently. This was supposed to be something technology was going to do for us. But, as I often lament, technology (computers, in particular) seems to rob me of more time than it saves me. Which is why I particularly enjoyed this cartoon.